In this day and age there is no shortage of parenting event options. Here is our list for the ultimate parenting events in the US. If you have more you'd like to see added to the list, let me know!
MommyCon
The Mother of All Parenting Events can sum up this North American series of events. Contrary to the name, this event is for all parents. With a minimum of eight events per year, this event has become the largest parenting event in the country. Features of the event include a boutique-like exhibitor hall, no less than a dozen educational sessions and a focus on community & bonding. The event focuses on modern and natural parenting methods and each attendee walks away with a gift bag filled with products from a variety of modern and natural parenting brands. The event is geared towards expectant, new and toddler-staged parents with certain markets hosting early-childhood sessions that extend beyond the pre-school years.
More information can be found here. You can use code CRUNCHYDADMOM17 for $5 off.
Gearapalooza
If you are an expecting parent who is looking for an informative evening that is filled with incredible giveaways from the biggest names in the baby industry, this event is for you! The event is specifically designed for those seeking to explore registry options. Guests walk away with a gift bag filled to the brim with amazing samples and full size products. Jamie Grayson, The Baby Guy NYC, hosts this event with Bump Club and Beyond in 15+ locations each year.
Are you a Big City Mom looking to connect with expecting parents in your area? This event is for you! The event features over 100 baby companies and offers testing, feeling and discovering products under one roof. The event features pampering services, snacks and even mocktails. Guests can expect to walk away from the event with a ginormous gift bag full of samples like baby formula, disposable diapers, bottles and wipes. The Biggest Baby Shower Ever is headquartered out of NYC, but travels to Boston, DC, San Francisco, SoCal and Miami each year.
If you are a Cool Mom from SoCal, chances are you have been to Family Fest from Club MomMe. This outdoor event takes place in the fall at a scenic location each year. It's one part baby, one part toddler and two parts socializing with other parents in the LA area. The event features an array of exhibitors, pampering services for mom and fun for toddlers. This is a great event to meet other families while noshing on local finds.
This fun filled event is the see and be seen of Hollywood. Celebrities flock to this event for a special VIP hour and consumers get the chance to learn all about car seat safety at this one-day event that happens in SoCal each fall. The event is informative and the gift bags are always widely talked about for including amazing products.
They started off in NYC and are now expanding into markets across the US. They tout themselves as the biggest baby show in the country. The event features an expansive exhibitor hall, and they are known for their stroller test track. They now have events in NYC, SoCal and Chicago.
Babypalooza - Expo style event that travels around Alabama and Mississippi. Prego Expo - hosts an expo style event in Florida and are expanding to other parts of the country. NJ Baby Expo - Hoboken based expo style event. Baby Bump Expo - Seattle and Tacoma expo style event. Babyfest Northwest- Seattle and Portland expo style event. Baby Kid Expo - St Louis expo style event. Chicago Baby Expo - Chicago suburb based expo style event. Blossom Baby Expo - Long island expo style event. Atlanta Baby Expo - Atlanta expo style event.
CrunchyDadmom's Top 10 tips for supporting your breastfeeding partner.
We plan and plan for months on end with excitement in anticipation for the arrival of our new little ones. We decide on everything from where a birth will take place to the theme of a nursery. We talk about what we will name them and how we expect their lives to go. Some of us even plan out their first outfits for newborn pictures. So how is it that so often we forget to focus some of that energy and thought on how we will nourish them in the early years and what we expect of each other to make that happen?
I have now been the "partner" through 5 and a half years of nursing babies. I have often wished that I had been a better support in the early years. That's not to say that I didn't think that I was supportive but just that my efforts, while well intentioned, didn't always feel to my wife as supportive as I would have hoped. Unfortunately not only is breastfeeding a all too little spoken about and planned for topic but the "how to" on the support side is next to nonexistent. And if you happen to be a partner reading this please take this piece of advice as fact as I promise you that any momma who has been through a breastfeeding journey will agree with it. SUPPORT THROUGH BREASTFEEDING IS EVERYTHING!!!!!
So let's get into it. The "How To" that I wish that I would have had.
1.) It starts before birth.
This is where the journey should really begin and maybe it doesn't the first time. In fact many mothers successful breastfeeding experiences don't actually take place with a first child. However deciding that breastfeeding is what both of you intend to be the means in which your new child will be nourished will put you leaps and bounds ahead. Make it a shared goal. Shared goals are achieved far more often due to a feeling of shared connection which increases motivation and accountability. So make sure you talk about it before you meet your new little squish.
2.) Education can be make or break in the first few days.
Ask any good lactation consultant and they will tell you that new parents and even some experienced parents are shocked when they learn basic things about breastfeeding such as; how much a 1 day old child consumes on average per feeding. (About 1 tsp of colostrum), what colostrum is, how often baby should be nursed, how long baby should eat for, what a good latch looks and sounds like, when moms milk actually comes in, what baby's stomach looks like at day 10. If you have already been a nursing mom, these probably sound simple but to those who haven't. When we have our own uneducated thoughts on how it is "supposed to be" and our reality is different than our expectations we often experience fear and disappointment. So when momma doesn't see her baby with milk running down her face or dad doesn't know that her boobs are functioning but they aren't producing milk like a freaking cow yet and they see the formula bottle that has 2oz in it, they assume that baby is not getting what she needs and that mommas body must not be working right when it might actually be working exactly as it is supposed to be.
3.) Breastfeeding support is not actually about breasts.
This one is really crucial. To really support a mom and her breastfed baby you need to remove yourself from spending too much energy on the baby actually nursing. It is easy to get caught up with worrying if everything is ok with the nursing baby but what would probably be more beneficial to the situation is walking away from her, going to the kitchen cabinet, grabbing a cup, turning on the sink, filling her up a glass of water and bringing it to her. If we are truly supporting moms, then we need to expect feeding baby is one thing she can usually handle on her own and instead be the hands and feet she can't be while she is nursing. If you don't know what she needs, remember, you can always ask her.
4.) Be the filter for her.
In the hours and days after your bundle of love is born you are destine to see eager friends and family who just want to catch a view of you baby. Sometimes they can be very considerate and other times they can be completely clueless. If momma had a hospital birth she is most likely glued to the bed with nowhere to really go even if she wasn't. This means that as these people steadily parade through your room or home it is really on you as the partner to direct and guide them based on how she and baby are feeling. Babies eat very often and a new mom is able to detect signs that baby is hungry pretty quickly so she may want to have some privacy to nurse and the calmness of the room can not be understated in helping baby concentrate. Do not be shy on returning baby to mom or removing people from the room. As well, the first few days mom and baby will need plenty of time together to bond and strengthen their understanding of one another, so nursing becomes more natural to both. If she is anxious about other people holding the baby be sure to help her so she does not to feel obligated to separate herself from baby. It is ok to tell people that they will need to wait until another time to hold the baby, Again asking her what she wants is a great way to make sure that the two of you are on the same page.
5.) She needs Rest Rest Rest.
So usually as the partner your leave of absence from work is much shorter lived than that of momma (which is still usually way too short but a different subject for a different day). This means that your ability to be a physical help is drastically reduced all too soon, so letting her rest as much as possible during that time is super helpful. Let's take a second and list out a few of the many things that have been going on with her to effort to give you some perspective on how much she really needs the rest. She just spent the last 9 months using her body as an incubator for another human being. She then had the giant muscular vessel that held that human crush down and squeeze it out of an area of her body that she never really wanted to be stretched that large to begin with. Then after that human was brought into the world she passed another massive object in the same manner.(If you haven't been through birth before do yourself a favor and google "Placenta" it's basically the unfair second birth she wasn't expecting) When that was finished somebody said to her that they "just needed to check to make sure her uterus was contracting" which is actually a fun way of warning her that they are about to use some torture tactic, that is too drastic for Gitmo, to painfully knead her belly while her contacting uterus continues to hemorrhage. And after is was all said and done and just before she was able to actually catch her breath, the human she just delivered needed her to use every last bit of energy she had to nourish it. So yeah dude, she's tired. Let her sleep, do the dishes, fold the laundry, cook the meals and let her rest.
6.) Learn to "really" bond with your little one.
We know that when mom nurses baby that a very special and unique bond is formed. We desire to experience that same bond but without functioning breast, sometimes we feel that can only be accomplished by feeding baby with a bottle. By holding on to that mindset though, we really limit our capacity to truly and deeply bond with our children and potentially throw a wrench in the breastfeeding process. There are many things that bottle feedings can do to hinder rather than help, such as nipple confusion, changes in flow rate, feeding beyond the capacity of baby stomach, etc. Being blunt it's kinda selfish too. There are so many ways you can bond with baby that are beneficial to everybody including momma. A few of my favorite include; skin to skin contact, baby wearing, bath time and listening to music and dancing with baby, but there are really no limits to the ways you can connect with baby. Try something simple like burping the baby after nursing. Chances are momma will really appreciate having both hands to herself for a few minutes too.
7.) Have patience
Nursing a baby takes a lot of time and practice and it doesn't always come quickly. It takes most moms about 6 weeks or so to really get into a good rhythm with baby. That is stressful enough for her in and of itself. So don't add stress to the situation by inserting your own expectations. Mom is gonna have the best understanding of how her body is acting and how baby is reacting. If she expresses concern that is one thing and merits a response but if she says shes's ok and baby is happy, just sit back and relax, everything is going exactly as it should.
8.) Help seek out help when things get bumpy.
So let's say she does express concern. Maybe things don't feel right or feel down right painful. Maybe she doesn't feel like baby is getting enough milk or is not latching well. Be the one to seek out additional help. Head online and find a local support group. You can find the nearest La Leche League International group to you. There are free support groups that have meetings and support lines run by experienced mommas throughout the world. Drive her to a meeting. Sometimes just having the knowledge of another momma can be all it takes to make a few adjustments or help diagnose a deeper issue. You could also seek out an independent lactation consultant who could come to your home and offer similar assistance.
9.) You don't know it all, so learn TOGETHER.
Breastfeeding and raising a child is a journey. All the knowledge and studying in the world is quickly trumped by experience. There is a lot of information available online but none as valuable as being in it day in and day out. Please, please, please if issues to arise, do not go online, read an article and then "tell her what to do". You are in this together and if she feels pressured rather than supported, the risk of quitting is easily amplified. Be a team. Learn together, talk. Have discussions about issues, options and possible solutions or seeking assistance. Remember that you're both in this for the same squishy faced, ten toed reason.
10.) Be Proud of her.
This seems so simplistic but can not be understated. Breastfeeding moms ARE superheros. They ARE able to use their bodies to sustain the life of another person for years, Show them some serious appreciation and be proud to be partnered with one of these beautifully self sacrificing individuals. When you are out of the house and she shows off her superpowers do not shame her. Stand proudly by her side and let her know how awesome she is. The world does enough to try and bring her down, so let her know often that she is amazing because, simply put, SHE IS.
So there you are my "How To" that I wish had existed 5 years ago. Now that you have some tools at your disposal, use them. Go battle the issues and celebrate the successes together. We often say in our home that it takes a village. Nobody should have to go it alone and your village starts with you so start your village. Be strong, be brave and be supportive.
If you have any additional tips I would love to read them in the comments below.
I was recently asked if I had any advice on how to get a 5 month old to drink breast milk from a bottle so that mom could get some time to take care of a few things on occasion. Fair question. Fortunantly as a dad I have had to exculsivly rely on bottle feedings. My wife is a weekend nurse and works 12 hour shifts, which really means shes gone for about 14 hours a day two days in a row, so bottle feeding are essential for my kiddos.
Now in truth if i had been asked for advice on this with my girls, I wouldn't really have any. My girls took bottles lie champs with ZERO transition issues. It was great! So I was a bit surprised at the initial difficulty of feeding my son via bottle. It took about 3 weeks to really get the hang of it but it would have been much quicker if I had gotten the advice I am about to give.
You would sure think that food is food and if a baby gets hungry that it will eat just for the sake of eating. Well..... not so much. I could not for the life of me get my boy to take a bottle the first weekend my wife was back to work postpartum. My first thought was that maybe he wasn't actually hungry. After going through the "rounds" if you make, you know, diaper change, bouncing, burping attempt, trying to get farts out and carried in the Ergo to induce napping, it became clear that he was hungry and he was not gonna eat from the bottle.
In a bit of a panic at this point, I grabbed another bottle (a Soothie bottle, I was using a Medela) poured the milk in heated it up a bit more and lo and behold he took it. In my mind I figured he must of taken it because he liked the nipple better. Over the rest of the weekend we struggled with the Soothie bottle but got enough food down to keep him fed, but it was by no means easy.
Convinced to have a better weekend next time I started to really watch what he responded well to and what didn't make a difference. Here's the list of things he liked and changed his attitude towards gladly accepting the bottle in order of importance.
1 Heat
2 Skin Contact
3 Nipple Firmness
By far the most important thing to get him to take his boobie juice willingly the temp needed to be right. Now your body temp is right around 97 F so you would think this is sufficient temp to keep them happy but not for this guy. My wife would fresh express and leave me with a bottle to use immediately and he would bauk at it every time. If however I would take the fresh milk and warm it just a bit he downed it all right away. I have found that the optimal temp for my fussy guy to take his bottle with ease is between 115 F and 120 F. Now you don't want to have to stick a thermometer in a bottle every time so here's a nice little tip to use. Tap the nipple on the bottom of your wrist. It should be almost hot but induce absolutely no pain at all. If you feel any sting period, it is too hot and you should either let it cool by standing or run the bottle under some cold water while swirling (Not Shaking. Never Shake Breast milk) the bottle. Test again until it temp properly. Also if the baby flinches at all when first taking the bottle it is still to hot and you should continue to cool it down. This one thing usually does the trick for getting him to eat though.
Next is skin contact. This sounds a bit odd especially if you're leaving your kiddo with someone whose not particularly close to your family. Let me explain. A baby who is exclusively breastfed is used to having their face jammed against a decent amount of skin while eating, so when they transition to a bottle you can imagine that a rubber nipple just doesn't really compare. Have you ever noticed though that babies love to eat your fingers and knuckles? Why do they do that? Skin contact. As the daddy in this scenario it would be perfectly acceptable to use this to my advantage when feeding him but the way i'm gonna explain should be acceptable for nearly anyone who you would trust to feed your kiddo to use. The nipple of the bottle is not suffiecnt contact but by taking and wrapping your fingers around the base of the nipple you can create a ring of skin to make contact with the little ones face and create that skin to skin sensation that they've come to expect when eating. Check out these pictures to get a better idea of what I mean.
Lastly, nipple firmness. Both my son and my niece seem to do better with a nipple that is not very firm. Typically momma nipples are not very firm while baby is eating and the baby can mold the nipple to the inside of their mouths while eating. If you use a very firm nipple this malleability is greatly reduced. Above I had said that the soothie bottle worked for my son at first. Well he quickly changed his tone when we applied the first two tips and he started to actually eat. We found that he liked the Medela nipples more because they were softer and he could push the nipple tip inward with his tongue and make it pop in and out while he suckles. See the picture to better understand the nipple being pushed inward.
After the second weekend together of bottle feeding with my boy, we were practically champs and at nearly 6 months now I know what works for him and he is a happy bottle eater.
Every kid is gonna be different but I have had similar issues with my niece who is the same age as my son and have had similar success with bottle feeding. Hope this all helps and please leave your own feedback and advice to help this momma.
MISCARRIAGE! Damn. That's a scary word. But what's the
reality? Well an estimated 1 in 5 "known" pregnancies will end in a
lost baby before the 20th week. Actually it's most likely much higher than that
due to it happening often before the pregnancy becomes known to the mother. The
fact of early miscarriage is no more obvious than to those of us who have been
through it while actively pursuing having kids of our own.
Being in my late 20's and having 3 children with my wife,
the experience of miscarriage hit us relatively early in life, in our early 20s.
But being in the age group we are, we're starting to see it happen to those around
us. In the past few weeks I have had 2 sets of friends who have been thrown
into the dizzying spiral of losing a baby. It's so heart breaking to see close
friends go through something so devastating. It happens and it hurts, a lot. It
has also shed light on another unspoken truth. These are just the friends who
have had the courage to make it known to the world or at least their inner
circles. One thing though that I have found to be a very dark truth surrounding
this subject is that, no matter if you are brave like a few of my friends have
been or decide to keep it concealed as my wife and I did, there is undoubtedly
an ultimate feeling of shame and responsibility in the aftermath of experiencing
it firsthand.
Why though? How in the hell is that fair? Rarely is it ever
the fault of a mother, that her little one did not develop properly and was not
able to survive the same miraculous transformation that you did, into a vessel suitable
to sustain life as a human. Why can't parents go through the grieving process
without feeling responsible and or shameful? Some would say it's because they
are looking for answers to a question without any. Being realistic, most people
will never know the specific reason behind a miscarriage. Doctors will
speculate to help you rationalize it. Moms might search deep within their own
memory banks and harshly judge each and every action and decision that she made
while pregnant. And friends, if they are made aware of the pregnancy, may come
up with their own versions of what could have happened to try to bring comfort
to their friend. Still none of these are ever absolute and a grieving mom and
possibly dad, deep down, know that. I however have a different vein of thought
as to why the tunnel of thoughts surrounding miscarriage are so densely lined
with self contempt.
WE DON'T TALK ABOUT IT.
Seriously, we don't.
And in the rare occurrences that we do, it's done in the shadows of secrecy.
Here's something to chew on. The percentage of known pregnancies that end
miscarriage is the same as the percentage of people who will die from cancer.
It's the same as the percentage of the American children who live in poverty.
Yet there is a drastic difference in that we do not hide these facts. We know
them and we dedicate time and resources to them in order to assist those
affected. We talk about them. We walk around tracks in pink and come up with
ridiculous team names to make them known. Can the same be said of those
affected by miscarriage? Now I'm by no means advocating these other issues are
undeserving of our attention, I am simply pointing to the fact that we are
sweeping under the rug a largely underrepresented number of people and allowing
them to believe that they are alone in a very difficult and vulnerable time in
their lives.
Now everything I'm saying is essentially just bitching at
this point and I do not want to just complain about an issue and not add to the
solution. So I'm going to address a number of ways that I think can help both
internally and externally create a solid support and understanding towards
those affected (especially as men). I will also outline something which I believe we can help shift
the undertone of shame away from grieving parents and allow us to create a
culture of support to make it "ok" for parents to reach out without
hesitation or embarrassment by opening up the dialog for talking about it.
It starts with compassion.
Internally in the relationship men will be affected
differently than women.
I need to first address the guys side as it is most relevant
to me but it is good for women to know how we think. Guys process information
in a way that starts with; hearing a situation happens. assessing the details
and seriousness of the situation, deciding how relevant it is to them and if it
is, immediately the cogs begin to turn to rationalize or resolve the situation.
This works great as a man, to be able to rationalize something at tragic as a
miscarriage and hold strong in our minds to that rationale. We are able to
function and focus on the details of the days after because, to us there is
absolute truth in it. It's not that we aren't saddened, instead it's that that is how we process everything every day. We don't know any other way and unfortunately
the thing that gets us through it just about the worst possible means of helping
our partners throughout the entire grieving process.
As men we tend to miss a very important detail in our
assessment of miscarriage. For some reason, and I still haven't been able to put my
finger on it, we think that our partners are able to go through the same
rationalization process as us. And without realizing it we tend to go straight to trying to lead them to our rationale. I mean it does make sense right? If it worked for us
why can't it work for them? If you are a guy whose going through this please
listen carefully. I promise with every ounce of being in me that it is not the
same for women. Stop. Stop because it's not only not what they need but, it will
NEVER EVER work.
Women have a completely different emotional attachment that
we can't fully grasp, but I will try to explain it in a way that might be
easier to understand. When a woman finds out she is pregnant, intentionally or
not, she instantly changes. She is no longer herself. She is a we. In fact you
should repeat that last sentence out loud to yourself a few times. She is a we.
We can't as guys understand it fully because we will never be a we. And we will
never spend a day not being able to break the river of thought that another being
is inside of us growing, completely and wholey dependent on us for life. In
order for us to understand to our capacity though we need to remember something
very important. Men usually take a while to fully come to terms with the idea
of the baby being real. Really in there. For women though that feeling of we is
very real and very permanent as soon as it happens and that thought does not leave
them. They are moms and their baby is all consuming to them. It's actually the
thing that makes a miscarriage so emotionally devastating to them. I say all of
this to bring it around to a point for men to get. When we try to rationalize a
miscarriage we unintentionally put off a feeling that we think somehow it somehow wasn't real. That that woman wasn't
and isn't a mother.
So what can we do instead? Well, honestly it's a very simple but immensely
difficult answer. Ready?
Shut up and be there! Don't try to provide answers. You don't
have any because for her there are none. So sit with her, cry with her, listen
to her, assure her you are not going anywhere until she is ready. She's just
lost someone very important to her and she needs you to be there because you're
the closest thing she has to someone who should understand. It is a very slow grieving
and healing process that you cannot speed up no matter what so prepare yourself
to be there for a while.
Something that often gets overlooked by men as well is that
if you received the news that you have miscarried during an ultrasound, your
partner has a solid chance of needing to have the baby surgically taken from
her. So while she is grieving from the loss she is also dealing with that fact
that her baby is still in her. As men we must be additionally sympathetic to
these mothers and not take personal any actions or words that come from them. This
is again something you cannot possibly understand.
I want to stomp out a common misnomer that its somehow better if you
already have kids. Coming personally from a scenario where we experienced multiple
miscarriages in between our oldest and middle child I can assure you it is not
better. If anything its harder. The emotions are the same but now the grieving
process is harder because you have a little one to attend to. It actually slows
the healing because it takes longer to have ample time to do so.
If we are to change the culture of shame surrounding
miscarriage we cannot pretend that we are "ok" simply for the purpose of making
face to our family and friends. I truly believe that people are kinder and more
sympathetic than we give credit to. Inevitably though, even if we do present
our raw emotions to them, someone will not know how to react. They will fall
into the same rut that I've been describing above. It is important for us to
forgive them and not hold them responsible. As they become more educated and as
the culture of understanding changes they will learn. Another reason we cannot
continue to hide that this happens is
that you will have someone in your life who goes through this as well and in
that moment when they are looking for support they will remember. They will
gravitate to where they believe understanding lies. You will be the start of
the web of support and it will grow.
It is often said that it takes a village to raise a child
and I believe that to be very true but I also believe it to be just as true
that it takes that same village to help us grieve when we lose one. From
partners to family member. From friends to employers. Be the start of your
village. Be the start of the answer to banishing the hidden secret that so many
people live with and try to deal with themselves. Be there!
Having a successful home water birth as the partner can feel really intimidating to say the least. In a hospital setting you have the "comfort" of having staff around and people who "know how to have a baby". As a crunchy dad this last statement has proven to be false to me on many levels in hindsight, but it was undoubtedly fact for me at the time of our first birthing experience. When you are considering a home birth though, that all goes out the window and the pressure of being a support and making the experience a wonderful memory falls on heavy on your shoulders, even if only in your own mind.
For me, I wanted to make sure that everything that was within my control went well enough to not be the defining memory. So with talking with my wife I began to theorize about what would be important. Of course some things came to me like, music, lighting, traffic of kids and pets and who would be in attendance. And while these all play a role they still didn't hit the top of the list of importance in the end.
I want you to imagine this scenario. You've been in early labor for a short while. Things are progressing as planned and you are starting to feel that you are at the end of this pregnancy and about to meet your lil bundle for the first time. You're still in what I like to think of as the dreamy fun phase of labor. you know, the part before the reality of actually pushing the small watermelon through an area of bone structure usually meant for holding the insides of a woman together when shes standing upright? Things continue to progress and the feelings of total discomfort are beginning to kick in, this is when she will want to try and find comfort through any means necessary. She decides that warm water would bring relief. If you haven't thought this through by now you're about to experience one of the worst feelings of helplessness ever.
But instead you're reading this and you don't have to get to this point and not have the answers already. So lets discuss a few questions that will guide your water birth preparations.
Where will we have it at?
Well this can be a super defining question as to how to have a successful home water birth. Some parents will choose to use a home tub, some will choose to rent or purchase a Birthing Pool/Tub and others will choose our preferred method of purchasing the fishy pool.
The home tub is clearly the least expensive and most easily accessible to both water and draining sources but it has it's drawback of available mobility for mama due to size. It also has the ability to dramatically alter the mood of the birth because of the obvious lack of ability to be anywhere other than the bathroom. Certainly these obstacles can be overcome but they may not be so easy to overcome as using another option.
Birthing Pools/Tubs will certainly be able to accommodate the ability to set the scene for your birth in a plethora of locations and will be spacious enough to let mama move at her discretion but they come at a heck of a price, often topping $100 for rent alone.
The option we choose for our last 2 birth was one of increasing popularity as home birth and especially water home births become more and more the norm for expecting parents. The "fishy pool" as it has become to be so affectionately called by the water birthing community is big enough to let mama move, sturdy enough to feel secure about using it inside and let mama rest on the edges without compromising the structural integrity and most importantly cheap enough to consider at under $30.
If you choose any option other than in the home tub your next question should be.... How do we fill it?
I've heard some pretty poorly thought through answers to this question. Things like, "We'll just bring the hose inside and fill it." or "I have some 5 gallon buckets we're gonna fill up and poor in."
First off the garden hose should NEVER EVER be used to fill a birthing tub. I personally suggest not even using a new one as many garden hoses are made of polyvinyl chloride (PVC), which uses lead as a stabilizer.
If you decide on buckets make sure you spend the weeks leading up to the birth working on your upper body strength because you will certainly be needing it. It will also take a substantial amount of time and energy to do so.
What we chose was the use of a small plumbing miracle referred to as a SharkBite. "SharkBite is the Push-Fit connection system that is really taking hold. It’s the easiest way to join copper, CPVC, or PEX pipe in any combination with no soldering, clamps, unions, or glue. Just insert the pipe and the stainless steel teeth bite down and grip tight, while a specially formulated O-ring compresses to create a perfect seal."
They come in so many different options it would be nearly impossible to not find the one to fit your needs,
Most homes will be equipped with a bath tub that has a removable spout like the one shown below. It exposes the 1/2" copper pipe that it attaches to.
I purchased the coupling and a coiled roll of 1/2" pex line from Home Depot for under $40. The system simply allows for me to push both pipes into the coupling and its ready to go as shown below.
This option now allows for me to fill the birth pool with temperature regulated water, fill it without carrying anything around and allows me to continue to support my partner through labor. I and anyone who has been through the birthing process as a supporting partner can tell you that you will not want to be away from your partner in labor for more than a very brief moment. This option also allows for you to warm up the pool by simply turning the hot water back on for a gentle warm up.
Let's now assume we are through the birth and into the post birth and placenta delivery and baby is here and with mama. They've had time to bond in the pool and mama, sore and tired as can be, has made her way to a soft surface to relax with baby while a midwife and/or doula begins post birth paperwork and checks of mama and baby. At this point you still have a pool, which is most likely not so pretty, to contend with. You are now stricken with the question.....
How do we drain it?Great question. If you filled it with buckets you probably will be emptying i the same way. Alternatively if you've decided to use the SharkBite method this process of cleanup in its entirety will take about 20 minutes.
Understanding how a gravity siphon works is essential to being able to clean up everything with massive ease. I suggest keeping everything on the same floor of the house but if you cant you definitely you should not have your water source being above you as a cleanup through siphoning can't be done this way.
To drain the pool using the SharkBite method simply ensure the pex tubing is submerged in the birth pool water. With the pipes still connected run the water into the pool for a moment to ensure there is not air in the pipe. Next use the removal tool (as shown below) to remove the pex tubing from the SharkBite and immediately set it down by the drain of the tub not allowing any air to enter the tube. If its done correctly the water should now be flowing out of the pool and into the tub. It should take about 5 to 10 minutes to drain the entire pool.
What about the rest?
If you are using a rental pool or a pricey purchased pool you will most likely be expecting to clean the pool out for later use.
If however the pool of your choice is in your eyes disposable (and for under $30 the fishy pool is) you can very easily deflate and roll the pool up and toss it in the dumpster to be taken away.
Some P.S. Pro Tips: -Setting up an inflatable pool is much much easier and faster with the use of an air compressor. If possible have the air compressor ready to roll days before you're expecting to use it so that you may simply plug it in and begin using it.
-Also make sure you have the right nozzle to blow air into the pool. This is the tool I've used for many years on inflatables. The pool takes about 3 minutes to inflate using this tool and a decent compressor.
-Always plan to have a plastic sheet under your pool. Even if you don't have a leak or any issues , the in and out of people will get the surrounding area wet and if its solid surface flooring it will get slick.
-I thoroughly suggest getting comfortable with hooking up the pieces well in advance of needing them. The less thinking you have to do during labor the better.
-If you do use the SharkBites DO NOT forget to get a removal tool. They are like $2 and important.
-If you hook up your water source to a tub/shower you will want to block off the shower head from being able to be used. If the water pressure gets to high it will want to come out of the shower head. (I used a small rubber plug the first time and replaced the shower head over it. I removed the head and replaced it with a threaded cap the second time. The Cap worked better)
-A good roll of duct tape will come in handy and allow for you to work hands free when both filling and draining the pool assuring that the hose or tubing stays in place when the water is flowing in either direction.
-Keep in mind how heavy the pool will be filled with water. If the area of floor that it will be going on could not support upwards of 15-20 people at the same time you should not setup in that area.
-Once the pool is rolled up and in a trash dumpster you can further compress it by puncturing the inflatable areas with a razor or knife.
I hope you find this information useful in trying to be as supportive of a birthing partner as possible If you have anything to add please do in the comments below. Thanks for reading.
