The single most helpful tool for dads and birthing partners to creating a successful and comfortable home water birth.

Having a successful home water birth as the partner can feel really intimidating to say the least. In a hospital setting you have the "comfort" of having staff around and people who "know how to have a baby". As a crunchy dad this last statement has proven to be false to me on many levels in hindsight,  but it was undoubtedly fact for me at the time of our first birthing experience. When you are considering a home birth though, that all goes out the window and the pressure of being a support and making the experience a wonderful memory falls on heavy on your shoulders, even if only in your own mind.

For me, I wanted to make sure that everything that was within my control went well enough to not be the defining memory. So with talking with my wife I began to theorize about what would be important. Of course some things came to me like, music, lighting, traffic of kids and pets and who would be in attendance. And while these all play a role they still didn't hit the top of the list of importance in the end.

I want you to imagine this scenario. You've been in early labor for a short while. Things are progressing as planned and you are starting to feel that you are at the end of this pregnancy and about to meet your lil bundle for the first time. You're still in what I like to think of as the dreamy fun phase of labor. you know, the part before the reality of actually pushing the small watermelon through an area of  bone structure usually meant for holding the insides of a woman together when shes standing upright? Things continue to progress and the feelings of total discomfort are beginning to kick in, this is when she will want to try and find comfort through any means necessary. She decides that warm water would bring relief. If you haven't thought this through by now you're about to  experience one of the worst feelings of helplessness ever.

But instead you're reading this and you don't have to get to this point and not have the answers already. So lets discuss a few questions that will guide your water birth preparations.

Where will we have it at?
Well this can be a super defining question as to how to have a successful home water birth. Some parents will choose to use a home tub, some will choose to rent or purchase a Birthing Pool/Tub and others will choose our preferred method of purchasing the fishy pool.

The home tub is clearly the least expensive and most easily accessible to both water and draining sources but it has it's drawback of available mobility for mama due to size. It also has the ability to dramatically alter the mood of the birth because of the obvious lack of ability to be anywhere other than the bathroom. Certainly these obstacles can be overcome but they may not be so easy to overcome as using another option.

Birthing Pools/Tubs will certainly be able to accommodate the ability to set the scene for your birth in a plethora of locations and will be spacious enough to let mama move at her discretion but they come at a heck of a price, often topping $100 for rent alone.

The option we choose for our last 2 birth was one of increasing popularity as home birth and especially water home births become more and more the norm for expecting parents. The "fishy pool" as it has become to be so affectionately called by the water birthing community is big enough to let mama move, sturdy enough to feel secure about using it inside and let mama rest on the edges without compromising the structural integrity and most importantly  cheap enough to consider at under $30.

If you choose any option other than in the home tub your next question should be....
How do we fill it?
I've heard some pretty poorly thought through answers to this question. Things like, "We'll just bring the hose inside and fill it." or "I have some 5 gallon buckets we're gonna fill up and poor in."

First off the garden hose should NEVER EVER be used to fill a birthing tub. I personally suggest not even using a new one as many garden hoses are made of polyvinyl chloride (PVC), which uses lead as a stabilizer.

If you decide on buckets make sure you spend the weeks leading up to the birth working on your upper body strength because you will certainly be needing it. It will also take a substantial amount of time and energy to do so.

What we chose was the use of a small plumbing miracle referred to as a SharkBite. "SharkBite is the Push-Fit connection system that is really taking hold. It’s the easiest way to join copper, CPVC, or PEX pipe in any combination with no soldering, clamps, unions, or glue. Just insert the pipe and the stainless steel teeth bite down and grip tight, while a specially formulated O-ring compresses to create a perfect seal."

They come in so many different options it would be nearly impossible to not find the one to fit your needs,

Most homes will be equipped with a bath tub that has a removable spout like the one shown below. It exposes the 1/2" copper pipe that it attaches to.

I purchased the coupling and a coiled roll of 1/2" pex line from Home Depot for under $40. The system simply allows for me to push both pipes into the coupling and its ready to go as shown below.

This option now allows for me to fill the birth pool with temperature regulated water, fill it without carrying anything around and allows me to continue to support my partner through labor. I and anyone who has been through the birthing process as a supporting partner can tell you that you will not want to be away from your partner in labor for more than a very brief moment. This option also allows for you to warm up the pool by simply turning the hot water back on for a gentle warm up.

Let's now assume we are through the birth and into the post birth and placenta delivery and baby is here and with mama. They've had time to bond in the pool and mama, sore and tired as can be, has made her way to a soft surface to relax with baby while a midwife and/or doula begins post birth paperwork and checks of mama and baby. At this point you still have a pool, which is most likely not so pretty, to contend with. You are now stricken with the question.....

How do we drain it?Great question. If you filled it with buckets you probably will be emptying i the same way. Alternatively if you've decided to use the SharkBite method this process of cleanup in its entirety will take about 20 minutes.

Understanding how a gravity siphon works is essential to being able to clean up everything with massive ease. I suggest keeping everything on the same floor of the house but if you cant you definitely you should not have your water source being above you as a cleanup through siphoning can't be done this way.



To drain the pool using the SharkBite method simply ensure the pex tubing is submerged in the birth pool water. With the pipes still connected run the water into the pool for a moment to ensure there is not air in the pipe. Next use the removal tool (as shown below) to remove the pex tubing from the SharkBite and immediately set it down by the drain of the tub not allowing any air to enter the tube. If its done correctly the water should now be flowing out of the pool and into the tub. It should take about 5 to 10 minutes to drain the entire pool.

What about the rest?  
If you are using a rental pool or a pricey purchased pool you will most likely be expecting to clean the pool out for later use.
If however the pool of your choice is in your eyes disposable (and for under $30 the fishy pool is) you can very easily deflate and roll the pool up and toss it in the dumpster to be taken away.

Some P.S. Pro Tips:
-Setting up an inflatable pool is much much easier and faster with the use of an air compressor. If possible have the air compressor ready to roll days before you're expecting to use it so that you may simply plug it in and begin using it.
-Also make sure you have the right nozzle to blow air into the pool. This is the tool I've used for many years on inflatables. The pool takes about 3 minutes to inflate using this tool and a decent compressor.

-Always plan to have a plastic sheet under your pool. Even if you don't have a leak or any issues , the in and out of people will get the surrounding area wet and if its solid surface flooring it will get slick.

-I thoroughly suggest getting comfortable with hooking up the pieces well in advance of needing them. The less thinking you have to do during labor the better.





-If you do use the SharkBites DO NOT forget to get a removal tool. They are like $2 and important.






-If you hook up your water source to a tub/shower you will want to block off the shower head from being able to be used. If the water pressure gets to high it will want to come out of the shower head. (I used a small rubber plug the first time and replaced the shower head over it. I removed the head and replaced it with a threaded cap the second time. The Cap worked better)

-A good roll of duct tape will come in handy and allow for you to work hands free when both filling and draining the pool assuring that the hose or tubing stays in place when the water is flowing in either direction.
-Keep in mind how heavy the pool will be filled with water. If the area of floor that it will be going on could not support upwards of 15-20 people at the same time you should not setup in that area.
-Once the pool is rolled up and in a trash dumpster you can further compress it by puncturing the inflatable areas with a razor or knife.

I hope you find this information useful in trying to be as supportive of a birthing partner as possible If you have anything to add please do in the comments below. Thanks for reading.

Please, stop eating red sauce from a jar.

Look I get it, We've pretty much all been there, It's getting late and you still need to feed the masses that occupy your house. And if you're like me, you are most likely outnumbered by singular digit aged occupants. So you go to your easy go to's that everyone will eat, right? For most people spaghetti and sauce is certainly one that fits the bill. I mean it can get much easier than boiling some noodles and heating up a jar of sauce. But what if I told you that you could ditch the jar, save some money and get a much better product in less than 5 minutes? This red sauce is so easy to make that we now joke about ever buying another jar or can of "spaghetti sauce" in our house and our kids devour it. It also has the benefit of being vegan if that's important to you. 

Prep Time: 2 Minutes 

Cook Time" 3 Minutes plus as long as it takes to boil your pasta.

Ingredients: (I prefer to use Cert. Organic products)

1 medium onion diced large

1 medium bell pepper diced large

2 cloves of garlic diced fine

2 tsp Italian seasoning

Salt and Pepper to taste

1 15oz Can Diced Tomatoes

1 15oz Can Tomato Sauce

1 Tbs Coconut Oil

Directions:

Start by beginning to boil your water for your pasta.

In a 4qt sauce pan. Melt 1Tbs of Coconut oil over high heat.

Add in diced onion and peppers and saute for about 2 minutes. (Remember color is important here. No color no flavor)

Stir in diced garlic

Pour in Diced Tomatoes and Tomato Sauce and stir.

Probably the number 1 issue with most red sauces is under seasoning. Add the Italian seasoning and salt and pepper. I took this picture just to show you what it looks like when I season sauce. To some a little sprinkle is enough but if you want it to taste good it should be seasoned well. 

Bring the sauce to a boil and lower to medium heat to allow the sauce to simmer. 

Continue to let simmer until your pasta has finished cooking. It will need the entire duration of the cooking time to let the seasoning infuse into the sauce and vegetables. 

That's it!. I love this easy sauce recipe but more importantly I love that I can make this meal without too much thought since there is most likely one kid on my leg and one strapped to my back while the third is asking what she can eat from the next room. I love to see alterations and creativity. If you try this recipe and make alterations please leave a comment so myself and others may try it as well. 

A Quick Meal my kiddos love. Organic Veggie Pot Pie.

Years ago I started making a super simple pot pie for the family that only consisted of myself, my wife and 1 child. It was convenient as it was made with a lot of pre-made items  but man was it a terrible for us. I was convinced that there had to be a way to make a good for you pot pie that didn't take half the day to make. I was in school for culinary arts and baking and pastry when I was younger and if you've ever made pastry crusts before you know a good pastry crust is a labor of love and patience. Well I don't typically have much for patience when it comes to feeding the family so, I created a press crust with an immense amount of flavor and a filling that is sure to please.

INGREDIENTS: (I suggest Cert. Organic for all)
-Crust
 2 Cups   Unbleached All Purpose Flour
 1/2 tsp    Pink Himalayan Salt
 2 tsp       Italian Seasoning
 1/2 Cup  Unrefined Cold Pressed Coconut Oil
 6-8 Tbs   Cold Water

-Filling
 2-3 Tbs  Butter
 2 Tbs     Unbleached All Purpose Flour
 1.5 Cup Vegetable Broth
 1.5 Cup Frozen Mixed Vegetables
 1 Cup    Shredded Colby Cheese

Directions:
-Crust
Preheat oven to 375F
In a large mixing bowl mix all dry ingredients together until well incorporated.

Add in coconut oil and blend together with an electric mixer until it starts to look like large crumbles.

Add in 6Tbs of cold water and mix again with the electric mixer.

Mix in the last 2 Tbs of cold water. The Mixture should begin to look like crumbled cookie dough.

Scoop about 1/2 of the mixture and put around the edge of a 9" pie pan..

This is a press crust, so begin to press the mixture into the edge of the pie pan keeping the thickness even all the way around.

Pour just enough of the remaining mixture to fill the center of the pie pan. Press the mixture into an even crust and set aside.

-Filling
In a large saute pan melt the butter over medium heat. When it gets nice and bubbly begin to slowly mix in the flour with a whisk.
Let it cook until it get thick and bubbly.

Slowly add in the vegetable broth to the rue and whisk until all the lumps are gone and you are left with a nice smooth "sauce".

When the sauce begins to boil add in the mixed veggies and bring back to a boil.

Once the mixture is boiling cut the heat and mix in the shredded cheese. Continue mixing until the cheese is completely melted.

Pour the mixture into the pressed crust.

Spread the remaining crust crumbles evenly over the top of the filled pie crust.

Place the pie carefully in the oven and cook for 45 minutes .

When the pie is finished cooking remove from the oven and let cool for at least 10 minutes before serving.

I hope you enjoy this as much as my family does. Don't be afraid to make substitutes or add different proteins if you would like. If you do please post in the comments. I love to see food creativity.

MOMMYCON?

This last weekend I attended the Mecca of hippie mommas gathering together in one place. Something called MOMMYCON, just outside Chicago. If you're not privy to what this con is, it's basically  babies, boobies, bellies, products for babies, boobies and bellies, a place to take pictures to let everyone know about babies, boobies and bellies and then of course you'll need a place to discuss babies, boobies and bellies. So what better place than the room affectionately referred to as Vagina Village.  Seems pretty guy friendly right? I went on an impromptu invite from my wife. She was planning to attend with my sister and my niece who is about the same age as my youngest child at 5 months.

I agreed to take them and bring them back but it wasn't until I was in the hotel room with them that I was convinced to attend the CON. This wasn't some easy decision for me to make. I've been to conventions before, ones that are much larger than this, but I knew if I attended a primarily female convention revolving solely around "Mothering" that I was going to be That Dad that got dragged along by his wife. To keep it blunt, I was afraid of looking like a whipped dude. In truth and as a placeholder for another conversation, as men, we shouldn't be stigmatized for wanting to be an integral part of the nurturing side of the upbringing of our children. But still I felt that my presence was going to be an unwelcome energy. Picture it with me, you've been walking around an expo floor for 20 minutes when you pause for a moment to wait for the rest of the group to catch up. After waiting for 2 minutes you realize you've stopped right in front of a huge rack of Diva Cups and "mommy pads" and 2 women are waiting for you to move so they can get a closer look. Don't know what a Diva Cup is? A quick Google search will do a much better job of explaining than I could elaborate on. Did you go look it up? Awkward moment right? Or how about having to hear the patronizing sounds of a vendor saying something like "Don't you just love having to come to MOMMYCON?" while you're looking through a spread of products that you are most likely going to own some of at some point throughout raising a child?

But regardless of how awful that all sounded I knew that the Ergo Baby carrier I'd been using for the last four and a half years was wearing out and beginning to make me believe I was carrying around a small elephant rather than a 4 month old infant and if there was ever going to be a time to look at getting a new one this was it. I said to the girls, "Ok, I guess I'm gonna go be a mommy for the day." at which point they affectionately crowned  me with the title of Dadmom. So I hustled some last minute deal to pick up a ticket for half price and pumped myself up mentally and went at it full force. 100%. If I was going to be there then I was going to be the best damn Dadmom in the place.

So we walk into the venue and from everything I can see it is exactly what I was expecting. Pink decor everywhere, pregnant women, moms with babies attached to every surface of their bodies and the handful of men slowly trotting around behind their women. You know like they do when their women play the ever elusive game of "follow me through the mall maze of cloth racks and don't question me as to my reasoning for passing the same rack 3 times,  there's something there I might want!".

To my surprise though, the feeling was short lived. These women were different, accepting. They supported the idea of the nurturing father and support through partnership. There is something very special about this group of women. Like a secret society of women who get it. Who seem to be out to better one another. It was super refreshing. Perhaps this is the group of women who will change the mommy trend from trying to do it alone into the normalization or rebirth of the "it takes a village" idea.

These women have created products, started businesses, and taken the time to teach one another. Experts from different fields coming together to encourage and educate about topics like; baby wearing, breastfeeding, birthing, cloth diapering, holistic health and eco friendly parenting products. They truly care and I can't say enough good things about this group and their supporters. I hope to see this event grow bigger and bigger and that they make it even more inclusive to fathers (maybe through more father speaking sessions "hint hint")

After spending 9 hours dipping in and out of the expo floor and into and out of different speaker events, I left feeling good. Better than good. I was genuinely happy and I found my new carrier. But more important than that was the fact that my wife was genuinely happy not only because she was there but because We were there together Mommy and Dadmom and you can bet we'll be back next year.